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The BOON of Complete Detachment

12th April 2016

Nick going through a period of seeming to be withdrawing from SY not quite entirely of his own volition & to it
feeling a bit uncomfortable.

Ealing Collective; Hounslow; Chelsea; Fulham; Flood St;
Navaratri Cabella 2015; Ideal Home Show 2016;
Chiswick shop/Post Office; National Pujas; WebSite disaster;

Then Mary reminded Nick of time when Mother told us to ask for the highest… to ask from Her a Boon.
Nick then after a while recalled that he'd asked for “Complete Detachment”
At first Nick had forgotten all about this, but then as he started to recall what had taken place, he realised that this
might explain Nick’s feeling of gradually being withdrawn from just about everything that he holds most dear in SY.
(In 2016 & in fact before) & that he'd been unable to explain properly


The BOON of Complete Detachment

This Nick has for a while been unable to do very much that was at least meaningful or satisfying to himself regarding the website ‘Sahajvidya.org.uk’, & was unable to understand really what was going on. Now as he looks back at his notes, made more or less daily, he is starting at last to see perhaps some sense in it all.

He has been aware, for many years of a gradual, yet virtually an almost continuous change, taking place within him.
He often spoke of it, yet was unable to properly articulate what was happening, or explain why etc. (mostly to Mary)

Now he can perhaps start to piece together these different events. But where to start… where to start recounting events?

It starts pretty obviously with his meeting Mother, back in 1980, August 9th in Birmingham.

But even so, one can trace it all back much further to events that happened in Africa, the miracle of his escaping almost certain death whilst driving in the escarpment in Eastern Zambia, driving at high speed on twisting, roller coaster type roads, dirt roads with very little stability, and meeting headlong another vehicle coming straight for him, coming the other way, also at high speed. The story is told elsewhere, so will not be repeated here.
Suffice it to say he did not realise its possible significance in this larger story til quite recently, when 'what is happening now' needs to be understood in some way that starts to make sense.

Maybe, it is just possible that he might have had some sort of pre-ordained destiny, explaining why these miraculous events are still taking place, even now. He speaks of course of his meeting with Her Holiness, Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi, and the tremendous change brought about in his life by She who is Adi Shakti Incarnate, and who bestowed upon him this very great and transforming experience called Self Realisation, which was to bring a plethora of Miraculous Happenings, and that would change his life out of all recognition… and which still continues even to this day.

For much of the time in his early life, he was aware that he felt differently to most other people that he grew up with… he seemed to have little in common with his peers, and this feeling continued to keep him company throughout his adult life.

Then he met Shri Mataji. Then he immediately felt he had found that something that made sense to him of his life - for the first time in his life. He felt that everything now had a meaning… he felt for the first time ‘In his element’ so to speak – it all made sense… life was now really worthwhile and meaningful.

So this Nick then spent the next 35 years or so, journeying through Sahaja Yoga, learning, changing so very much, working on the “SahajVidya.org.uk” website, and finding ways to preserve and protect the Message brought to this Earth and to convey that message of Shri Mataji to the world of Seekers, that are everywhere.

He was almost continuously aware of the changes taking place within himself, as well as all around him with all the other Sahaj Yogis too, til that fateful day in 2011, when Shri Mataji departed this Earth, at least in Her Physical Form.

He recorded much of what had happened over those years on the website he was constructing. This has now quite recently been rebuilt to make it more user-friendly, and to try and improve the coverage of material that is on offer to the world of Seekers that as already said, are everywhere.

Now we come to more recent events, which had been quite difficult to understand, so much so that he felt unable to verbalise them or to properly describe them so as to make sense. It also becomes quite risky, to write his interpretation of events & what they might mean, when he undoubtedly will lay himself open to a barrage of criticism.

Now a look at what has been happening more recently, and what it maybe all means, and how does it all fit in with everything else that has been going on.

The most significant date that sticks in Nick’s mind is or was 13th Feb 2014 when he was prompted to speak out at the Hampstead meeting, speaking about the Heart Chakra, more specifically the Right Heart Chakra, and that rather special quality of Shri Ram who resides on the right Heart Chakra, the quality of Sankoch, so misunderstood, yet so sorely needed, especially here in this country, which Shri Mataji describes as the Heart of the Universe.

This country is, without getting into the dangerous zone of egotistical thinking, a very special place indeed. It is so difficult to talk of these things without the risk associated with that horrendous thing Mr Ego getting out of hand and spoiling everything. When we look around, we see everywhere, Yogis who are blissfully unaware of what is really going on. They continue in their old accustomed traditional ways, living like all other non-Realised Souls, forgetting the big difference made by that very precious gift of Self Realisation, which should change absolutely everything in their lives. It is only when we maintain in our conscious minds the ever present and continuous effect of that living all powerful, inspirational influence from the Divine, that we start to evolve into the super human state that Shri Mataji talked of.

From that date, and indeed from before, he has been aware of a gradual but continual, and constant change taking place in him, in his life, unstoppable, yet which still continues to this day. From that date he has experienced a continuous but gradual withdrawal from everything that is to him, most precious – it is almost like a process of expulsion from everything that he values, from everything that he holds in high regard… from looking after and giving Realisation to all the New People coming to Sahaja Yoga, to helping out at various public programs, to working on and with, and recording the events and miracles happening regularly in Sahaja Yoga. He did not understand it at all, and many times complained about it, as he felt in some way alienated from all that to him felt so precious. But he had to learn to live with it. It started with his being banned from the various meetings that he was attending, then to being unwelcome at several others, then to feeling the compulsive urge to withdraw from other events, to failing to participate in various other sometimes quite major Sahaj events… and finally to a withdrawal from attending even the National Pujas… and now the fear of the failure in some way of the website that he always held so dear to his Heart.

Then he was reminded of an occasion, many years back, when Shri Mataji instructed us all to ask of Her a Boon… to ask the highest that we could think of. This Nick recalls that at that time he had asked for “Complete Detachment”. As soon as he recalled this, he felt perhaps, he at last began to understand what all this that had been happening over all these years… what it might be meaning… what might be going on… even if only partially so.

He now has the feeling that, like it or not, he has become fully detached… quite undisturbed by it all (which itself is something that still bothers him somewhat)… and wonders now what will happen next…

The first week in June 2016, he sent an e-mail to Canada, expressing a little of his understanding of what was happening, and accepting this as its conclusion i.e. possibly the surrendering of the Sahajvidya website, for others to take on from here on in, if that was what was called for - to accept this website in its unfinished state, knowing that there is much already completed and ready to upload & include, yet accepting that it cannot at this stage be completed... and then just letting go...

Concurrent with all this going on, has been another rather strange new experience that has been developing for this Nick, since the beginning of this year 2016. He has been experiencing something that is very uncomfortable, the feeling of being almost physically sick, like an attack of nerves deep in the void area, whenever he sometimes is working on the website, trying to achieve some sort of an improvement in design or operation, yet which immediately goes away when he changes direction or adopts a different way of doing things, with regard to whatever he is then doing. So it's rather like a new way, a more uncomfortable way perhaps of receiving guidance from the Divine... so as to show him a better way ahead for whatever he is doing.

Now and at this point, he was starting to try and follow a ‘YouTube’ tutorial that might help them resolve this ‘lack of proper synchronisation’ issue, that has been so troubling of late. It was then, that this again happened… this time, for the third such occasion… but this time was the strongest, most difficult to bear yet – he just had to stop what he was doing... he could not continue. Whilst this is ongoing, it looks like he may be getting some much needed help, coming from 2 Sahaja Yogis who are living in Canada... quite extraordinary offers of help from these 2 Yogis, who he has not even ever met.
[He speaks of 1. Emiliana Blagoeva and 2. Attila Badri – these two amazing Sahaja Yogis offered their undivided help and support and would not accept anything in return – truly amazing! Thank you you two guys. Thank you so much. May Shri Mataji’s Blessings pour down upon the both of you. ]

Also ongoing at this moment is another series of happenings that is quite new, and which seems to be filling the void created by Nick's seeming withdrawal from all things currently officially going on, mainstream so to speak in Sahaja Yoga... and which feels so fulfilling for this Nick. He speaks of the series of events arranged more or less, 2 weekly in North London, where a small number of Yogis are visiting a different venue each time, but always within the auspices of the same management company, and existing for the benefit of the needy in society in some way or other. This is again quite unique, in that some quite amazing yet quite new experiences are occurring, which are introducing new possibilities into Nick's life.

At this moment, it feels right to include the details of an event that occurred recently in Finchley, and is told separately under the heading: a "Pick up Thy Bed & Walk"  moment, and describes what happened when a man was apparently cured of Multiple Sclerosis in no more than 10 minutes, after suffering for some 24 years.

So again we have to pause, and take stock so to speak.

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