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Nick's 3 Marriages
The Changes


Right at the very beginning when Nick first came to Sahaja Yoga, he was a little confused
and it took no time at all for Shri Mataji to very clearly show him on the first occasion that
he saw Her at Shri Durga Temple in Pond Street, Hampstead what at least one of his main
problems was... She simply asked him: are you married? to which he replied: No no no no no no no!

So then started his long journey to normalcy, which took until at least 1984 when he was married
for the first time. There were so many problems in this Nick that it then lasted by far the longest
of the 3 marriages that he has entered into... to gain the maximum benefit, before he progressed
in stages to number 2 & then to number 3.

Nick was very well aware of the many changes that were taking place during these periods of his
Sahaja life. Some were not at all comfortable to bear... but somehow he got through them.
He was not at all sure of himself, was nervous, shy and afraid even of the lovely little kids that
he is now so fond of in Sahaja Yoga.
He hesitates to make any comments regarding his experiences during these 3 marriages. He had
so many problems of his own that he feels that he has forfeited the right to comment on others.

Suffice it to say that in general, marriage is meant for your ascent & not so much for your
romantic ideas. So his first experience of marriage bore the brunt of the hard work that
had to be done... and the final other two just had to finish off the task.

The most noticeable change was the mastering, the overcoming of the dependence on
a partner for his experiencing of joy in his life.

This became for him the most important thing in his life, when he learned how properly
to give the experience of Self Realisation to anyone who wished for it. It is so joy giving
even when given to strangers.

A couple of memorable experiences would bear relating, if we ignore the circumstances that
were prevailing at the time.

#1 The time is the parting of the ways for marriage No2
For various reasons we decided to call it a day, & so we decided upon a return via car across Europe.
So we set off with the car loaded down to the absolute maximum. The drive was itself uneventful. We stopped off somewhere overnight in a hotel, & continued the next day, unloaded, & then continued to the airport for the return flight to London.

The absolutely amazing thing that occurred was that the entire journey,
from pulling the door closed behind us in Chiswick, to again pulling the door closed again in Chiswick on arrival back in London, was entirely free of any remorse, or pain, or regret. The entire journey was a peaceful, enjoyable fully meditative experience... the
whole way, til he closed the door behind him on his return. Then it was different, but only temporarily.

#2 This time it is once again the decision to go our separate ways after marriage No3
Once again it was apparent that this marriage was also not working as best it might.
So again it became necessary to once again bring it to an end.

There were a few things here to report upon.
Firstly, it became quite obvious after some time that it was clearly necessary for Nick to have to travel to America for this marriage, simply because of something that Shri Mataji once told to us all, when She told us that each country has its own special lesson to learn in Sahaja Yoga terms. So where in England our task is to 'learn to love'... so in the States it is their task to 'learn Self Respect'. So Nick who had a bad problem regarding this issue, this issue of a lack of ‘self respect’,
if you then recall that marriage is for our ascent, well then he just had to go to America
to overcome the self doubting that was always going on, in him.

Secondly, the attachment to worldly things, in this case to marriage & all that it means, had to
be dealt with. So looking back over the 3 instalments
so to speak, we can see a marked progression,
from the total dependence on the relationship within marriage, in No1 to a still strong dependence in No2, to something else entirely at the end of No3... where a totally free, independent experience of life is now entirely possible... laughing, enjoying, joking, detached - much more healthy all the way round, even immediately at the end of No 3, as he arrived back in the UK once more.
Now it is a different question to be dealt with. Nick with still a strong dedication to both Sahaja Yoga, and of course to our Beloved Mother, Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi, has to find a way forward from this point.

The first step is to complete this current task, of uploading and ensuring the viability of this
New web site: SahajVidya.org.uk/jsmsy with its new 'presentation' of our
Mother's Sahaja Yoga
so that the whole of Sahaja Yoga is brought back on line... and in line... to get things
working again properly, as Our Beloved Mother originally intended... and to properly educate
the whole of humanity... in it's Realised Form as a family of Realised Souls.
Here, this Nick must keep himself alert... must continue to dedicate himself fully to
the task... must not get diverted... and must finish the task, appointed by The Divine,
til we reach the stage of completion.
Jai Jai Jai Shri Mataji
Shri Mataji Prasanna

P.S. To all this can now be added one final 'happening' that took place very recently. Over the last few very recent years, this Nick has been labouring continuously (though in truth it can hardly be called a labour, because it is so joyful) on completing the rebuild of this Website.
During this period, he has had to deal also with the results of the 'total detachment' that he had asked for as a Boon from Shri Mataji some years back and which seem to have at last been granted.

He has experienced this 'total detachment' from all involvements in Sahaja Yoga work, which
ordinarily would have made him very miserable indeed... with his involuntary withdrawal from
anything to do with Sahaja Yoga and with virtually no contacts in the Sahaja Collective.
He had just one more or less constant remaining contact, but one where he had no possibility
of making any future with. Then something happened.. in Feb 2017

As she was about to depart to return home, she turned to embrace Nick - all very spontaneous.
Then the most amazing experience of all... in many ways.
She was of course fully attired for the homeward journey, in the depth of winter, here in England,
with a thick overcoat, thick woolly jumper, scarf etc. etc. and Nick was also wearing
his normal 'body warmer' jacket and scarf over his other normal clothing.
But as she embraced this Nick something truly amazing occurred.
Through these all quite thick layers of clothing, the miracle that it could only have been, took place… where it was as if there were no layers of clothing at all. Nick felt the
skin of her breasts
on his chest... and again when his left arm automatically went round outside her coat,
he felt the skin of her waist on his own inner forearm.
Both these were absolutely impossible events. She instantly reacted, pulled away
and fled down the stairs. Nick did again not react, but wondered what this might mean,
and resolved to face her next time to talk this whole thing over.

When the next time came, uncharacteristically some 5 long weeks later,
she unfortunately, for whatever reason known only to herself, decided
to deny that anything at
all had ever happened.
She was obviously scared to face what was equally obviously a very clearly important miracle
intended for the both of us.
So... all that this Nick could
do... is accept what occurred... surrender to The Divine...
and leave it at that.

Now something else is happening which is yet another progression in this series of ’tests’
for this Nick. What is happening at the Kingston meeting is again completely contrary to
everything that this Nick stands for in putting into practice what he understands that
Sahaja Yoga is supposed to be all about.

Jai Shri Mataji

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