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How to avoid this really ugly ‘I’ word

Below is a summary of a short exchange over the use of the ‘I’ word, between our sister Beth & Nick, the author of the 'Putting our Hearts into Action' e-mail sent out recently. She has suggested that the contents might be of more general interest to all Sahaja Yogis... because it highlights some Advice from our Mother that seems to have been lost sight of in the years that have passed.


Hi Nick ,
You made a really good point in this email really well put, (the e-mail about putting our hearts into action), but perhaps going forward in future emails you should say 'I' when referring to yourself because when you say 'this Nick' it is a bit confusing - it took me a while to work out that it was you!  
Hope all is well with you,   
take care, Beth.

Actually Beth, Shri Mataji was often telling us to not use the 'I' word to avoid the ego coming up - She was telling us to say 'this Nick' or 'this Beth... or to say 'we'...  or to talk in the 3rd person...  

It's just another example of how we all seem to have lost contact with Shri Mataji's Teachings over the years. So 'this Nick' will continue to follow the guidance and advice from our Mother if you don't mind... and if it's all the same to you.

I don't mean to be rude or anything, but it's an important point.
Take care
Jai Shri Mataji


Beth: Oh, very interesting. You should let yogis know. It's good for people to know.  
Of course i don't mind as   i    have    read quite a few of your stories and so am now familiar with it referring to you, i just said it to avoid confusion for other people that was all, as you don't often see people writing in that way.    

         It's good for all this information to be passed on so may be you should pass it on as it might not be in talks, perhaps as a testimony or something.  Thanks, Beth.

Nick: Actually this advice is in tapes… many of them – see below for just a few examples. The choice is of course always yours, i.e. the person who is doing the talking… which to use… whether to use… ‘this Nick’ option [This option I personally never use conversationally, as it is somewhat stifled and a little bit artificial, and can be also a little pedantic. I reserve it’s use for the written narrative on these SahajVidya pages, when narrating some miracle type stories in which it becomes necessary to refer to oneself at some point]… or to use the 3rd person option, ‘it’… or ‘he/she’… or to use the ‘We’ option. Best seems to be to alternate their use, using whichever seems to fit at the time. They are all avoiding the ‘I’ word. So use whichever is appropriate or whichever you are comfortable with. There’s no compulsion to go this way or that way… use your discretion. And the main advantage is that whichever you choose, it appears natural, and normal. Of course if you are still not comfortable with any of these options… you can continue to wrestle with using this ugly ‘I’ word with all it’s resulting complications and ramifications of the ever problematic Mr. Ego – it is as they say… entirely up to you.


Actually the Advices are in many tapes. Here are just a few:

1. 'I' SHOULD BE GIVEN UP, 'We' should come in, 820402 Rama's B'day, Chelsham Rd Clip.mp3 
   Can be found on SahajVidya website – see Audio mp3 clips 'Sahaja Culture' section

2. You must have seen some little children talk like that in a third person. Like they'll say,
   "This John will not go there.   1982-0930: 4th Public Programme,Urania, Vienna, Austria

3. But in that, you should see where is their attention, what they are describing and what they are saying to you because they're realized children and the realized children always talk in the third person also. Like you tell them, 'Now, you better go home.' So they'll say, 'This boy will not go.' I tell you, he doesn't want to go home. 'This boy will not go,' meaning this boy is different from the one which is speaking
    1994-0405: Lane Cove River Park Picnic, Sydney, Australia

4. You don't say that you are doing it. It's done 'it' in the third; like small children always talk like that. "Mother this boy Munna wont listen, is a bad one." In the third person they talk so many times you must've seen. In the same way a realized soul always talks in the third person.
    1986-0220: The Essence of Gita, Shankar Lal Hall, Delhi

5. When talking to somebody who is a negative person, or when telling somebody about Sahaja Yoga, you should say 'we'… not 'I'… 'we… some of us have got… yes some of us have… I know some of us have this… we… we all… we the body of Sahaja Yogis'… so the ego will become much less (830113)

6. The so-called intellect of human beings… it cheats… it gives you escapes… all the time the intellect is working by saying.. 'oh this may be good… that may be good'… but the real good it never sees… it's a trick of the ego you see… choices… ego likes choices you see… 'this is good… this is bad… this I don’t like… this… this' - all 'I' business should be given up… 'we' should come in… not 'I'… that’s how intellect will go away. The most intelligent person is the one who knows that our intellect is just an ego trip… this is the sign of Pure Intelligence… of Pure Understanding… that the heart is the ruler… there resides the Spirit which is the most intelligent thing within us… and the inspiration of the Spirit is the manifestation of the Pure Intellect of God… and what I told you today is the Intellect of the Heart… but of the brain… zero (820402)

Can be found on SahajVidya website – see the word ‘We’ in the Site Indexes.


All these and many more areas where we are little bit going wrong... are available to view, to read, explore and hopefully correct, on the Sahajvidya website - go to the end or last panel on the HomePage to see many more examples of some of the mistakes we are making.

See the 'Possibilities'   and   the 'Pitfalls'

You never know... you might discover why it is that your particular problem is not going away...



The other day, Thurs 13th Feb, this Nick was called to Hampstead to attend a meeting of Sahaja Yogis, discussing the way ahead for Sahaja Yoga in North London.

He went along in a witness state, as North London was a little bit outside his patch, coming from Chiswick.

The meeting started around 8.45pm and for the early part was the normal style of Sahaja Yoga meeting, discussing ways to bring more people etc etc.

Close to the end, Nick who had been listening to everyone speaking, volunteered to himself speak up.   What was said was not rehearsed – it was all spontaneous… but it came from the heart.


The Heart in Action

“Much has been said here tonight… much has been talked about… but it has all so far been on the mental level… but, where is the heart in all of this?

We need to touch the hearts of the new people. The biggest difference between our Beloved Mother taking the meeting, and any of us… is the heart. We need to touch the hearts of the new people… we need to little bit touch their Hearts… Get them to feel that Joy welling up within us… Get them to feel the extent, the power of the Kundalini shooting out the top of their heads… Get them to feel that living energy bubbling away inside of us… Take them deep into meditation… See the transformation on their faces, as they feel the transformation taking place within themselves… Show them how easy it is to manipulate these energies inside them… show them how to move this cool energy from the cool side into the warm side… Talk to them… Show them… Demonstrate it to them… Care for them… Nurture them… Love them… If you do all these things… these new people will come back to your meetings again… and again… and again…”

But first of course… we have to learn to love. And this, Shri Mataji has said to us long back, when She said: “The English have to learn to love.” About this She has given us advice also. Just as a mother innately loves her child… will even sacrifice her own life for her child, so we have to learn to love like that… even the men. The Motherly qualities that are now at this time so earnestly needed, need to come to the fore, even in… and maybe especially, in the men. In the women, these qualities should already be there… at least in those women who really are the ‘real women’. These qualities will transform our country… especially in Sahaj terms.

Shri Mataji also tells us how to do it… She says ‘the left heart is the sincerity, the qualities of love & compassion etc but what is the use… all this desiring… we need to put this heart into activity… into action’ – the qualities of Shri Ram on the right heart, so misunderstood, which She calls Sankoch. When we start to do this, we find people are immediately affected… they immediately respond… they see the difference… and start showing a genuine interest… and they start coming back to the meetings again and again.

After the meeting was adjourned, Nick was reminded of a somewhat similar meeting that was chaired if memory serves well by Clive B. in Flood St many years ago. There it was suggested that… we need in our own meditations to maybe little bit formally ‘offer ourselves to Shri Mataji to be used by Her as her instruments in any way She so chooses’. Then,   why should   we   be surprised… She has been waiting for us to make this offer… and She would accept… and then all manner of miraculous things would start happening in our lives.

So lets give up this preoccupation that we all seem to have with trying to work things out on a mental level all the time… lets surrender to our hearts… and see what happens.

And forget those wooden hearted individuals that can see no further than their own noses… who immediately react with alarm and fear… who get a fright, and start complaining that we should not work on the ladies, if we are a man (sometimes there are more than 80% or so who are ladies… what can we do?) who do not like to see us talking to the person we are working on… who do not like to see us taking their hand up above their heads to feel their own Kundalini. For heavens sake… this is exactly what we are supposed to do.

So lets be sensible… be sahaj… be responsible… but above all be open hearted… and surrendered… to the Divine… and it will all work out the way we all, in our hearts so desire.

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