The other day, Wednesday to be precise (26th Feb 2014), this poor Nick received such a bashing, from two of the big shots running Ealing meeting these days… first from the ‘Bouncer in chief’… and then from the ‘Chief Executive’ so to speak.
It was following on from the ‘Put your Hearts into Action’ e-mail that this Nick sent out recently to the Collective, plus the practical issues involved of actually doing all this ‘in practice’… ‘in Reality’ at the Ealing meeting itself.
Now he again risks another mauling from those who are so entrenched in their misunderstanding of our Beloved Mother’s wishes, that they will go to any lengths to bring down anyone who challenges their misunderstanding of what we all should, according to our Most Loving and Gracious Mother and Guru… be doing – especially as we are in this very special location, the Heart we are told of the Universe.
Yet the Heart fails to operate the way it should.
The problems are so fundamental, so basic… and so deep rooted that it is going to take an enormous effort to bring about a shift to the extent that is required… to bring about the desired result. This e-mail is part 2 of 3, in an attempt to set out in some detail, the relevant facts that, it is hoped, will achieve those ends. So bear with me til the end… and let’s see what we all collectively can achieve… together.
It is possible that the complainants will have simply overlooked… or maybe have forgotten… or perhaps have never even heard Shri Mataji saying to us that we should put our hearts into action. She very clearly tells us in the Shri Rama Birthday Puja at Chelsham Road in 1982, that:
“When you are in the left heart, that’s your sincerity… it's your heart-felt thing, but the heart felt thing, what's the use……………… but how many of you are really putting that to action… absolutely into action… without that your Rama’s Tattwa cannot be improved. Rama’s tattwa is only improved when you put all the things into action. That exactly Shri Rama did.”
“Now you have to love all the seekers of the world… they have done wrong… they have done all sorts of ego trips… they have done all kinds of mistakes… but your Mother loves them, and you have to love them. Say things which are sweet and nice… which will make another person feel that this person is a properly brought up person in Sahaja Yoga tradition.”
Again, it’s very easy to confuse ‘being nice to someone’, if we are ourselves confused people, with something altogether different… with something of a much more sinister nature. However… we are all Sahaja Yogis and so we find it very easy to forgive… and maybe we should accept that maybe we were wrong… maybe we were too ready to judge… and let’s just forgive… and forget… I'm sure it’s really nothing more than a simple misunderstanding.
The first thing to say and to say very clearly… to the extent that we need to shout it from the housetops so to speak is this: SEX has no part to play in this story at all! Those who have introduced it are doing Sahaja Yoga a very great disservice indeed. This was the very first lesson that Shri Mataji taught to Nick, when he first arrived on the scene back in 1980, in Birmingham. There were at that time, 2 Rajneesh types sitting in the front row… and Shri Mataji was ‘dealing’ with them. Later in the program, when She came to where Nick was sitting, She referred to them again, saying “You cannot mix sex with seeking for God can you?” Nick who by that time was in a very deep state of meditation, replied not audibly… but by mental telepathy if you like… he said ‘Please do not ask me to condemn another, for I am no better than they are’. He was very new… a real rookie as they say… his 1st day in Sahaja Yoga. Since that day… he has moved on… very far indeed.
Nick has, over the years, gone through the mill, in his journey through Sahaj Yoga… but he has held tight… so very very tight to Shri Mataji… that this enabled Mother to work miracles with him that would otherwise have been impossible if his hold had been any the less strong than it in effect was.
Then one other thing that is relevant is that Nick also applied himself diligently to a relentless study and pursuit of the Truth that Shri Mataji was bestowing upon us all. From this has sprung many a miracle.
Finally he learned how to… ‘in practice’… how to meditate… how to let go… how to surrender… how to really let Shri Mataji take over… how to witness whatever Shri Mataji was doing… at times through him. All this he was learning to do… and where? Amazingly at Ealing of all places… the very same place that has now banned him from showing his face ever again. Isn’t that amazing?
While he was learning all these practicalities of how to really practice Sahaja Yoga in a real sense, he was also at the same time doing the same things at Hampstead, which he was also helping out with for quite some time also. For him, these two events were running concurrently in the same time frame. There was just one difference. There, at Hampstead, he actually announced to the Collective… how he had decided to deal with this problem… the problem of how to ‘open your heart to all the new people without them all falling in love with you… and all the resultant complications that might ensue. He simply announced to everyone that he would just behave ‘normally’ and then simply trust in Mother that She would protect him from making any silly mistakes. Little did he know at that time what he was letting himself in for! Though he did not make the same announcement at the Ealing meeting, he does recall telling some of those there what he was in fact doing… but more on an individual basis.
This all happened some 10 years ago, after he came back from the States, having just separated from his 3rd wife.
In the next 10 years he has not been anywhere near a woman… has not touched a woman… has had no relationship with a single female in that sort of way… at all… ever – not in the sort of way that everyone is now sniggering about. Sexual Pervert… I ask you… phooey it’s all nonsense. I'll have you all know… I'm now 75 years of age… I'm not Superman… I don’t have that sort of prowess or stamina - I should be finished… in my grave long before the month was up if I engaged in that sort of activity for long. Be sensible… be realistic… do you really think I would last 5 minutes with a young female in her prime… at my time of life… grow up… don’t be so bloody ridiculous!
In those 10 years something else was happening that I did not until very recently, connect to this that I have been describing here.
This ‘asking Mother to protect me from making any silly mistakes as far as the ladies was concerned’ was to have unexpected and far reaching consequences… in a quite different direction – in my own personal, private life. I have had to deal with that sense of ‘loneliness’ in an otherwise very satisfying style of life, doing what I love… giving Realisation to people… caring for them… explaining things to them… helping them in all manner of ways… in whatever way I could. This was… and is… my life. But I always had that feeling that there was a huge gap, a space, an emptiness in my life - at heart I am… have always been… a family man… that needs the companionship of wife and kids. But that has seemingly always… or at least for the main part been denied me.
But the unexpected consequences were quite as amazing as they were unexpected.
For these past 10 years, I was tested (or so I understood) so much and so often. Repeatedly, again and again, I would meet someone, a female, that I saw as an attractive woman… who was quite clearly interested in me. Each occasion was unique, was different… but every time… the result would end up the same… nothing. This happened so often that I was becoming clearly a little paranoiac about it all. By the time that I was due to travel to India for the treatment for cancer, I was at my lowest ebb. I could not take any more. I was at the end of my tether – there was absolutely no strength left in me at all… I was finished! In that state I went to India… officially as far as everybody was concerned, to receive treatment to clear out any remaining vestiges of cancer… but for myself… to sort out this emotional problem that was getting me down… had gotten me down.
When I landed in India, an amazing thing happened… the terrific weight that I had unwittingly been carrying around with me was suddenly lifted from my shoulders – I again was free. I took 2 or 3 days to come to terms with it at Vashi Health Centre, but then it was as if there were no problem left in me at all… and I was left wondering… why was I there? Then the realisation, that maybe Shri Mataji had manoeuvred, had played Her Maya in such a way, that I was maybe there to witness what was going on at Vashi itself… and to give the feedback to those running it… (but that is another story, told elsewhere.)
So I came back to the UK in great spirits… but feeling very disturbed with what I saw happening seemingly everywhere in Sahaja Yoga all round the world. I decided that I had to be more responsible, with what I perceived as my position, with what I felt may be my role in Sahaja Yoga. I had studied Sahaja Yoga quite deeply for many years. I had put what I had learned from our Mother into practice… into actual real practice… how to really surrender in meditation so that all thought is removed… how to remove oneself from the equation so that the Divine can take over… completely.
This I did, not only in the more formal meditations… but also in my relationships with the new people… at public meetings. I simply removed myself from the picture so to speak, so that Shri Mataji could take over… and do and say what was needed… what was right… and proper. So now, you must understand… that this is what I do… this IS what I do… I do it all the time… I do it everywhere… it’s a bit like doing your meditation in practice… in a practical way… in action, in fact… as we are told to do, by our Beloved Guru and Mother, Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi. All the time you are caring for the 'other' person… in every way you can imagine.
So I continued to practice a form of ‘Practical Sahaja Yoga’ or you could say a form of ‘Reality Sahaja Yoga.’ And you guessed it, this included ‘how to open one’s heart… and how to put this heart into action… how to love people. I found people were impressed… they responded in quite amazing ways… and if you could keep ‘in check’ those other baser feelings… well you were made!
It has ended up with Nick being able to Open his Heart… and put it into Active Mode… without the risks normally associated with that type of behaviour. So he could ‘love’ those women, and kids, and adults, and men too, without the risks of ‘falling in love’ all the time.
I remember the first time that I felt this love actually flowing from my heart to another. It happened, again at Ealing. I was standing at the front of the hall, addressing those gathered there, explaining some aspect of Sahaja Yoga to the new people. Then, at that moment, I suddenly felt a surge of energy coming from my chest, this ‘love’ breaking out, like a big bubble, and heading straight to the new person that I was looking at. She was a middle-aged lady, nothing special, with a youngster beside her. It was such a feeling of love… to a perfect stranger. On another occasion, the same thing happened, but on this occasion, it was to a middle-aged man, also with a youngster.
So finally to the crux of the matter.
This is… where we have to be… opening the heart, and letting the love flow where it is needed - and where it is needed… is with the new people.
So what must we do? We first of all have to go back to the drawing board… and for us that means going back to once again study and absorb what Shri Mataji has said to us all, over the many years that we have been so blessed as to receive Her Darshan… but this time with proper understanding.
Then we have to face ourselves… and introspect… and see what rubbish, what garbage, what filth and dirt that we all still harbour… (and this is where we need to be ruthless…) we need to throw it all out, completely and for ever… no more gossiping… no more tittle-tattle… no more listening to bad stories about others… no more complaining… and no more toleration of poor standards in Sahaja Yoga either.
Her Holiness Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi has given us all instructions how to do this work. Are we finally ready and mature enough to be able to say… yes…
Yes I am ready! Lets make that prayer to Shri Mataji that we are ready… yes Mother please use me in what ever way You so choose… to do whatever You decide for the betterment… for the upliftment of Sahaja Yoga… please take charge of my life… and do with it what you will.
Jai Shri Mataji
PS – There is so much more to write, that I have decided to continue in another ‘epistle’ later on. This Nick carries with him everywhere a small notebook and pen… and in this he writes down immediately, any thought that comes to him… even if he is in bed ‘sleeping’… then he will immediately switch on the light, reach for his notebook and write it all down – this is basically how he writes these e-mails.